1 step beyond

I have experienced this one certain thing my whole life. I'm pretty sure it can't be just me and other people have to have it as well. In fact, the more I think about it, I'm sure it has to be a common thing. Because if it was just me I'd be pretty mad about it, if only because I don't understand it.

I always start out with a great big mass of people that I know and have a great time with, and then it's like from that point on I spend my time weeding out assholes.

Don't get me wrong, what I said back in January still holds. 99% of my time is NOT spent on grumbling about other people, what they do, what they say, what they think about (sniff, sob) ME, and things i can't control. But that 1% of my time where I'm actually close to being a human can be a little confounding.

The law of unintended consequences is something people with half a brain don't usually think about. But, in a way, it serves a broader purpose. It isn't that I actually understand why some folks feel it's perfectly OK to turn their back on you for reasons passing understanding, it's when the reasons are invented that get to me some times.

Take for example this past Christmas (the drama of which goes on today). We've had Christmas at our house for over twenty years and last season I sent a letter explaining why we wanted to back out of it and that this was to be the last one we host and here's the reasons and we love you guys and etc. It got back to me that one of the relatives - out of the blue as far as I was concerned - mocked the whole thing and basically twisted the whole thing to mean something other than was written and, people being idiots, bought her shit. We've been recovering our position in the family ever since.

Like I said in January - don't invent what I mean and then get pissed at me for it.

That rule applies to many associations. Anyone who wants to turn their back for whatever reason can do as they please. I'm used to weeding out the assholes. I'm quite practiced at it.

So we just had a Memorial Day picnic and half the family didn't show up. There was stuff they were supposed to bring and they agreed to bring and they didn't show up and didn't call. And next time they have a birthday party for their little kids MrsRW and I will show up and give them presents and all because, you know, if we don't we'll be petty or something.

So I'm spreading around a general rule. If you walk away from me after inventing a reason to be pissed at me and then be all pissed at me for a reason you made up - I'm not buying into your game. I can't be as big a mealy-mouthed prick as you. expect me to be nice.

I'm me, and you're just another asshole.

Labels: Reality Check

Ok I am surprised we didn't see Chicago's #1 overblown, overpriced, over-estimated chef d'Chicago, also known as Charlie Trotter. In fact, I'm astounded since he has the (undeserved) reputation of being Chicago's best ever. He is the host/chef/owner/proprietor/boy wonder of a place called... duh... Charlie Trotter's. He is expert at two and three hundred dollar meals made up of overpriced dollops of foliage, greedy little shards of undercooked meat and slivers of fruit bits decorating strands of something or other from some island nobody ever heard of. Or something. And you have to sell your first born just to afford the smear on the plate.

Of course there's nothing saying he WON'T be the final judge in Puerto Rico. I half expect it. And if he is they're all going to go gahgah googoo geejee woooheee omygod omygod omygod over it. But I'm telling you - don't fall for it. Charlie Trotter's restaurant has been going on fumes and reputation for at least the last ten of their twenty year run. It's bullshit. And I'm kind of hoping they don't bring him along next week. If you're ever in Chicago - don't go there. K?

I'm glad they went and got a REAL steakhouse guy to be the judge this time. Rick Tramonto's has a long standing reputation for good old steak and seafood. Expensive, but not the most expensive. And you at least get what you pay for. Unlike the other guy, where you are mostly buying HOT AIR.

Anyway... SPOILER ALERT FFS!!
Spike gets his just deserts. It was fun to see him and Lisa (the one-fifth of the Final Four) stand there with their faces out, called out on the carpet. He - once again - gets the benefit from the quickfire by getting to make the first choices for his menu... and the stupid moron goes for the frozen scallops. Numbnuts. Then of course he blames the restaurant for having them in there in the first place. Uh... FLUNK there bub (though - hint hint - I guess this means never order the scallops at Tramonto's AAAHHHHH HAHAHAHAHA... urp).

Anyway he flopped, and it wasn't just the scallops. Quite obviously everything he made would have probably been top of the line at a diner somewhere.

And Lisa - Jesus Holy God she has this face that says "you're an idiot" any time ANYbody has something to say about her food. You know what? Weak link right there. She's promised to "bring it" a dozen times and never has. I think we can discount her.

And though I can accept any of the last three as the final winner next week, I'm still holding out for Stephanie. Because, you know, she had that restaurant in... you know... my old neighborhood. And so forth. Anyway Antonia and Richard are true pros, and have usually always been in or near the top of just about every challenge. I like their styles and Richard - whose stuff can seem a little pretentious - has really impressed me with his otherwise regular guy approach. Antonia, on the other hand, just keeps shining and shining brighter and brighter, and her food is approachable by anybody yet - obviously - even just anybody is going to get something good.

However... I got my sites set on the almost nearly perfect, the usually always at the top, the winner of multiple challenges, the unflappable, the unstoppable, the genuinely serene Stephanie. The FIRST woman winner of Top Chef. And we got us a good one.

Labels: Food

When I was a mere lad of 18 and attending sporadic (ahem) classes at my alma mater (I call it that even though I hit the road early & didn't graduate) we had a drunken an unnatural affinity for isolating "opening lines" of books. There was - and still is - a subculture of first-liners out in the world and everybody knows about them. You know... "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," and so on.

Of course my crowd was all into books that were considered classics though in a slightly skewered, underground, avant savant sort of way. So our opening lines were always a bit... out there. But only because of the books we liked and the writing "school" we tried to attach ourselves to. There's a lot to be said for this. It is standard wisdom - if your book doesn't have a good opening line, get one.

So I thought I would take the first 10 FICTION books from left to right on my bookshelf and write them up for you for no particular reason but that it's the only thing I can come up with right here that's halfway interesting. Notice I said halfway.

So here we go, a meme I suppose. And, btw, if you haven't heard of any of these books, I may have to review my association with you, you WRETCHES!

Left to right... first 10...(fiction only)

1. Ann Quin / Berg - "A man called Berg, who changed his name to Greb, came to a seaside town intending to kill his father."
2. Tove Jansson / The Summer Book - "It was an early, very warm morning in July, and it had rained during the night."
3. Jane Bowles / My Sister's Hand In Mine - "Christina Goering's father was an American industrialist of German parentage and her mother was a New York lady of a very distinguished family." (Wow, the first three books on my shelf are women writers. I are a openmind3d dude).
4. Flann O'Brien / The Third Policeman - "Not everybody knows how I killed old Phillip Mathers, smashing his jaw in with my spade; but first it is better to speak of my friendship with John Divney because it was he who first knocked old Mathers down by giving him a great blow in the neck with a bicycle pump which he manufactured himself out of a hollow iron bar." (yeah - he's Irish)
5. Sadegh Hedayat / The Blind Owl - "There are sores which slowly erode the mind in solitude like a kind of canker."
6. Simon Leys The Death of Napoleon - "As he bore a vague resemblance to the Emperor, the sailors aboard the Hermann-Augustus Stoeffer had nicknamed him Napoleon."
7. Arthur Rimbaud / A Season In Hell - "Once, if I remember well, my life was a feast where all hearts opened and all wines flowed."
8. D.M. Thomas / The White Hotel - "I give you a warm bear-hug from the New World!" (And that's just about the end of the non-profane, raunchy, almost disgusting part of the book)
9. Adolfo Bioy Casares / The Invention Of Morel - "Today, on this island, a miracle happened; summer came ahead of time."
10. Julian MacLaren-Ross / Of Love And Hunger - "The new bloke's name was Roper."

I wanted to link some of these names or titles but - lazy.

Steal the meme or not, but let me know if any of these opening lines make you want to keep going. Most do, for me. Some more than others. But this is why I'm anal about my own opening lines. Anywhere...

Labels: Books

A list.

What do Upton Sinclair, James Joyce, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Virginia Woolf, Edgar Allen Poe, Benjamin Franklin, W.E.B. DuBois and Alexander Dumas have in common? In fact, wait let me expand that a little... What do they have in common with each other, but also with John Grisham's A Time To Kill, Irma Rombauer's The Joy of Cooking, James Redfield's The Celestine Prophecy, Blanchard & Johnson's One Minute Manager, and Richard Bolles' What Color Is Your Parachute? Actually not only all those, but add Deepak Chopra, Carl Sandburg, Mary Baker Eddy and Walt Whitman to the list too.

What does everything and everybody on this list hold in common?

Give up? Well, every book mentioned and every author listed were all, at one point or another, self-published.

Meaning the killer best-seller books in the list above were rejected by every publisher who saw them, and everybody on that list at one time or another had to take the step and do-it-themselves (Grisham and Redfield sold their first novels out of the trunks of their cars before they got picked up).

You must know, of course, that for every one of these success stories there are literally thousands of flops. And, personally, I'm a go-the-standard-route guy. Still have over twenty contacts left on my list for the project I have floating around out there. But the thing is - now there is such a thing as the Internet. And with the advent of a few print-as-ordered online services (LuLu and CreateSpace are the top of this food chain) the writer no longer has to buy $60,000 worth of books after spending $10,000 in advisory fees, and no longer has crates of books delivered to his house with a "thanks, see you" note from the same old vanity presses that have been ripping people off for years. So long as you train yourself in the making of Adobe pdf's (plenty of free online services for that too, by the way) you can do it.

So the idea came to me the other day, and it just so happens I own a URL that could work for something like this. I've used it so far for everything from investing to a little art experiment, but now I think I want to play with it in another way.

None of the links are working, the design in preliminary, the ideas are not totally formed and everything could change in the next hour; but allow me to present my free portal for self-published writers.

yeah i don't know either. But it's something to play with while I wait for word on the first book currently making the rounds and going back in to do yet-another rewrite on the second one which, Oh I forgot to tell you - I "finished" for all practical purposes. Save for making it presentable.... before the next few rewrites, anyway.

Labels: Media

I allow Bourdain in my city because though he's never ONCE brought his own show to Chicago that I can remember he at least once gave the Chicago style hot dog its due. So he was here tonight as Head Judge and now he can go back to New York and don't come back here until you want to show us off. Bye.

I lost my "Chicago Notes" section weeks ago. I don't have anything to tell you about since, I don't know, for weeks. What this means is you're going to have to come here yourself. All there is to it.

And now here's the SPOILER ALERT, ffs

TopChef's signature challenge - Restaurant Wars. Make a restaurant that opens TOMORROW. Fan favorite, and has really exposed people's shortcomings in the past.

Was there any doubt?

I mean, as soon as they split up into teams it was like it was over. And I mean there was NO mystery in this one. Even the reactions of the judges DURING the taste off tipped the hand. And I have to tell you, except for the chocolate smear thing that did look a little goofy, I would have SO ordered what Stephanie, Antonia and Richard put out there. Every. Last. Item. And the manner in which they worked everything out was all pro - just remember it was Nikki who, coming back to lend a hand, pointed out the grit in the shellfish. Richard missed something very much like that once before and survived by the virtue of somebody else's miasma that time. They really need to give Nikki a big hug.

As for Team Disaster. Let's put it this way; Spike REMAINS the slimiest weasel I've ever seen on this show but - like Bourdain said - he picked a good night to be in the front of the house.

Dale and Lisa.... Dale. And Lisa. Like most of the "mouths" I've known in life the minute they hit a bump they're all BWAAAAA. But you could have just as easily flipped a coin and sent Lisa home as well. Can anybody tell me what she's made that was actually good? She won a round, and I think it was something she could make in her sleep or something, but ever since then I can't remember one good thing she's done.

So anyway Dale, because the one who plays "executive chef" in Restaurant Wars is always the one who goes home, got what was coming to him. But - I'll be honest - If next week either Richard, Stephanie or Antonia go home because of some process or other, and BOTH Spike and Lisa get in...? I call bullshit, and that's a fact.

In the meantime Stephanie wins!!! And because I've been backing her FROM THE START and called it from Episode Two ("this is the first female winner on Top Chef"), she's taking me to Spain. Just so you know.

Yes, it's true - I am that "for two" she's taking. First tapas, and then I convince her to go to my favorite little place in Iberia... elBulli. Because Stephanie...? She listens to me now. Yes. Yes that's right, I am chef whisperer.

Labels: Food

Sometimes I feel all out of touch with people, especially on the intertubes. There are moments, let me tell you. Sometimes I feel like the guy at the computer, and sometimes I feel like the person standing behind him.

I guess it depends on where I am and who I am with. But I will say every once in a while I get tired of agreeing with everybody. I hope it all isn't just a case of we're all starting to bore one another is it?

I mean - seriously - sometimes all the kumbaya I read between bloggy buddies really makes me want to hurl.

Labels: Internet

I'm starting to notice that folks aren't quite as interested in books, cooking, cults and philosophical discourse as I thought they'd be. Not serving my audience, I suppose. I've had a lot of folks who used to come by really drop off as of late and it is telling in both the comments and the sideline email chatter; as in there isn't any. I keep looking around for something in my personal bag of tricks to entice people to have that overwhelming desire to peek in the moment they have a free minute but I just can't dredge anything up.

Pornography isn't one of my favorite things at all, so I can't post something just to shock anybody. I don't have a personal identity crisis every four days so people can leave a message to get me to keep my chin up. I don't secretly hate my marriage.

Come to think of it I don't openly hate my marriage either.

I'm lucky enough so that I have no terrible illness to fight, nor do I have to work my way through a terrible grief because I've lost someone near and dear to me. In this neck of the woods I'm very lucky in those things lately.

I'm not fooling around with anybody. I can't draw cartoons. I don't have an internet radio show; and I'm not about to be asked to be on anybody's internet radio show either (thank God - I'd probably just sit there like a lump and ruin it for everybody). I don't have a dog to take pictures of.

I don't have a cat either. There's three or four shows I watch on TV so I can't complain about the way a show is being ruined by the stupid producers. I wouldn't recognize ruining much anyway. And if a show of mine is ever canceled I just pretty much look for something else to do.

I don't have that many complaints about my fellow drivers or have any desire to talk about obnoxious people in grocery stores. I do have a neighbor across the street who is crazy, but I really only pay attention to him maybe once or twice a year. Otherwise I just ignore him.

So it isn't like I have a big list of things that could make me an interesting blogger where I'd have a great big readership and tons of comments all the time so... maybe I need to change up some stuff.

I'd throw the forum open for questions and say "I will answer anything you want to know about me", but I can't even think of anything I'd want to know about myself!

I could have a contest! But I'm way too cheap to provide actual prizes.

I don't like the same old memes. I'm not on a diet. I can't relate interesting search terms that got people here because I don't have any monitoring device attached here at all. I don't have any projects around the house I can take pictures of and complain about.

In short... I can't think of a damn thing.

But in an effort to perhaps increase the traffic let me just say; naked matures, drunken naked starlets, free naked money, how to make a naked bomb, the naked secrets of the Templars, naked tits, naked Mel Gibson wears a toupee, Sienna Miller naked, George Bush naked, naked animal lust, naked pictures, naked parties, naked parts, naked fetishes, naked nakedness.

Watch the traffic now!

Labels: Blogging

It appears we has entered the kingdom of snark!

Weh-hell now my son-in-law is a peace officer in a police department for a smaller town on the near south side of Chicago. He is also SWAT trained and doesn't afraid of anything. So I will hereby bury my unofficial feelings about Chicago's finest (cough.. hack...aggg...hooooah...cough) and just smile.

No really peace officers are the salt of the Earth and where would society be without the blue knights. Eh? Huh? Answer me!

The only thing you got to see tonight that was uniquely Chicago was the checkerboard band around the base of our officers' hats. They do that in Britain and we do it here. Now aren't you just ready to croak? See a Chicago cop hat and die. Who needs Paris...

OK enough of that. It's going NOwhere - just like Top Chef's display of Chicago. Like I said - may as well be in freakin' Milwaukee.
SPOILER ALERT FFS!

Very very very smart. Dale and Stephanie really made the perfect choices to fulfill the idea of healthy and satisfying. Dale substituted bison for beef (very low on fat content and fools the rather beefy members of the academy into thinking they can has burger). But as an advocate of antelope, kangaroo, ostrich and goat (all exceptionally low fat and I LOVE them all!), I really thought using a low-fat red meat was pretty smart for the circumstances. Equally smart was Stephanie's hearty soup. Soup - in this town and many other colder climates - is certainly seen as "hearty" and filling. PLUS if you season it right you can chock it full of good-for-you stuff that always tastes better in a soup and - again minding the seasoning - you don't have to pour a mountain of salt in it either. So Dale wins. And I have to say, as much as I wish he'd grow up, he was a good boy tonight. And Stephanie was in the final best again! I think it's cute how, even after all this time, she still gets nervous in the Quickfires. Anyway top group again - Woo. Did I tell you she used to have a restaurant in my...

ahem

They lined up Andrew, Spike and Lisa and MrsRW and I were pretty much saying "oh just shoot them all out of a cannon and let's go." Lisa is incompetent. Sorry to say. WAHing about somebody moving her flame setting? SABOTAGE! You bastards...! If I'm not mistaken this is the second time she said what she was going to do and... basically didn't do it. Yeah that was no stir fry.

And Andrew - forgetting the grain and also that we are TALKING ABOUT CHICAGO POLICE MEN DUDE - serves up sushi. Or at least a kind of sushi. That was a mess. Chicago cops and sushi go together like a tailgate party and a delicate California seasonal mix. And they already sent someone home for that misread.

Then Spike. Well, I saw him go into Whole Foods and say "I'm basically going to screw these people and take all the standard stuff out of their hands." Then, when nailed among the bottom three goes "no, I chose those for me." What a weasel. WEA-sel. You little, big-talkin' hat-wearin punky weasel. WEASEL! A chicken sandwich from McDonald's looked better than his no brainer.

When they were standing there it was like "Attitude Row." None of them ever believed the judges knew better on anything. They argued and bitched and motivated and excused and WAHHH'd like they always have. Get rid of them all, we said. But no - Andrew goes, if only because he didn't really duplicate the challenge.

Looks like the Final Four will be Stephanie, Richard, Dale and Antonia. Antonia's stock has been rising in my estimation. I still can't get over Dale's infantile recidivism. Richard cooks stuff I'd love to try and has been a grown-up throughout. And Stephanie used to have a restaurant in my old neighb...

...is also good.

We're gettin' there!

Labels: Food

A meme isn't just a list of funny questions where you reveal what you like and don't like and then pass it on to unsuspecting victims....

"A meme consists of any unit of cultural information, such as a practice or idea, that gets transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another. Examples include thoughts, ideas, theories, practices, habits, songs, dances and moods and terms such as race, culture, and ethnicity. Memes propagate themselves and can move through a "culture" in a manner similar to the behavior of a virus."

Recently a living meme of cultural information known as Anonymous has been waging an information war against the Church of Scientology, and the results have been nothing short of amazing to long-time critics and ex-Scientologists who have been on the receiving end of Scientology's "Fair Game" tactics for decades.

"Fair game. May be deprived of property or injured by any means by any Scientologist without any discipline of the Scientologist. May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed."

The Church of Scientology, much like fundamentalist Islam, has had a long and dubious history of harassing and trying to intimidate critics of its practices who have for years questioned the organization's policies of disconnection (if a relative - mother, father, son or daughter - is opposed to your participation in Scientology and are deemed by the "church" to be a "suppressive person", you will be instructed to disconnect from them. There are cases where mothers have not seen their grandchildren because the church has ordered them to disconnect from their sons or daughters), heavy sales tactics, and existing as a "religion" with which you must pay (upwards of $300,000 for the full package deal) in order to read their "scriptures'.

This video is difficult to watch, but in the days before Anonymous, what you are about to see (if you can stomach it) would have been the typical way Scientology would have addressed a critic, in public. This had been typical, and - remember - the three men who appear at 2:06 in this video are Scientologists. (VERY difficult to watch)

Long standing policies within the "church" are designed to chill free speech, including punative lawsuits, and even faked bomb threats, to get critics charged with felonies (even manufactured ones) against them so that they shut them up.

Until the arrival of Anonymous these tactics, along with picketing critic's homes, and making complaints that their opponents were "religious bigots" quite often worked to limit the number of people - mostly ex-members - effectively.

In January Scientology attempted to take down a video of Tom Cruise that had appeared online. This attempt to bring its own special brand of censorship (which failed in this case) caught the attention of a meme...

Since February demonstrations have been carried out by this leaderless organization every month, through the self-coodinating hub of a series of websites and discussion boards, that have taken place - most impressively - around the world in front of or near Scientology properties, regularly.

Scientology's response has been to make an effort to use the same tactics of intimidation against "members of Anonymous" (which is actually an impossible term) which have included letters from their various worldwide lawfirms - though meaningless by law - to families of identified protesters or the protesters themselves warning that "you/your son/daughter may be involved in terrorist activity", claiming bomb threats have been made against them (authorities have dismissed these claims as spurious), and various other methods including claims of hate crimes, child pornography and, most recently, telling their membership that Anonymous has picketed the Vatican, and/or is paid off by big drug companies or 'the psychiatrists" (against whom Scientology has been waging a war with its front groups).

They have attempted, at almost every demonstration, to identify participants so that they can include "namefagged" individuals in their cycle of counter-attack. unfortunately for Scientology "the meme" arrived masked, aware of the game, lucid, fluid, and determined. In short, the standard tactics used against critics since the 1950's have produced very little in the way of a deterrent. Imagine - a "church" standing ready with a veritable army of private Investigators wanting to go through the histories of people that can't be identified.

And, apparently, for all his brilliance and ability to see the past and the future, L. Ron Hubbard never figured on the internet.

How does one used to old-style battle tactics fight a meme with no leaders? What Scientology is trying is to identify leaders that do not exist. They have gone after people who apply for permits for demonstrations, they have used private investigators to tail demonstrators leaving protests to get their license plate numbers or photographs, they have outright come out of their buildings and demanded people take off their masks, and they have complained - mostly to no avail - to police departments around the country that Anonymous is scaring them. But at no time has there been one case of violence, terrorist threat, or vandalism. Indeed - how do you fight a meme?

Apparently, last Saturday, one Scientologist in Germany decided that throwing eggs at the demonstrators would work. Which was "fail".


How do you deal with people drawing attention to you by using public games of Twister, delicious caek, longcats, battletoads, literally hundreds of viral videos (Scientology has attempted to shut down critic's YouTube accounts), rickrolling, free hug raids, dozens of websites, V-masks, gas mask girls, people "manning the harpoons", a steady stream of information being leaked to the meme by disgruntled church-members, tits or GTFO, pics or it didn't happen, not to mention people leaving the church and making affidavits about how Scientology "masked itself" in order to be seen as a "religion" for tax and societal purposes. (pdf)

There is more to a meme than just a list of movies or things that bother you. Sometimes a meme is a living thing. And some times it bumps issues for great justice.

Why am I telling you this? Everybody likes the books they like and it's pointless to get into a big discussion about what's better than something else. It's subjective. Besides, who am I to go around saying what people need to read and what of those great classics and stand-bys are garbage and how dare you anyway? And why aren't you speaking in the First Person here? Why are you making a speech on MY behalf as if I'm talking to you when we all know YOU'RE typing right now anyway?

Ooops... sorry. Lost it there a second. Well, now you at least know what it would be like to read one of mine anyway. (insert wry smiley)

I know it's pretty dumb of anyone to say what's good and what's bad when we're talking about a subjective thing like books and authors and such. But I don't care. If you agree with my picks you're a genius, if you don't - sorry you're just wrong. That's why. /sarcasm.

Donald Barthelme died in the late 80's and it wasn't all that long a life and too bad for us and, now that I think about it, he probably wasn't altogether happy about it either but there you are. They talk about him being the "influential" and the "unique postmodern" blah blah blah but the thing is that yeah sure - maybe amongst other writers he's a great example of this that or the other but the problem is he's never had a movie made out of his stuff or anything so regular folks like us have had to be lucky enough to stumble on or ORDERED to read him by some enlightened college professor. I can't vouch for anything else of his besides the book I'm talking about here because this is the only one I've ever read. But when people say that they have a hard time shifting gears from the net to books because sometimes "literature" is just too dense (tl;dr) they obviously never saw The Dead Father, where a good 35-40% of the book is a series of one line paragraphs that tell the story regardless of the form.

Is everyone ready for the big dance?
How can we have a dance with only two women?
The women will just have to dance twice as hard.
Edmund claims the first dance.

These are the four opening "paragraphs" of Chapter 16. And if the quick, rapid fire stuff doesn't pull you in there's some really good sex scenes here and there if you are liking that kind of thing.

I could try to explain what this is about but really the back jacket cover of the Farrar, Straus and Giroux paperback sums it up pretty well.

"Nineteen people are dragging, by means of a cable, an immense carcass through the countryside. The carcass is that of the Dead Father, a half-dead, half-alive, part-mechanical, wise, vain, powerful being who still has hopes for himself although he is, effectively, dead."

Your first inclination would be to say it's all one big metaphor for fathers in general. Or perhaps it is a metaphor for man's relationship to God or the verisimilitude of something something, but that's just it. I think, personally, the book works best when you look at it as being a story about nineteen people who are dragging, by means of a cable, an immense carcass through the countryside. The carcass is that of the Dead Father, a half-dead, half-alive, part-mechanical, wise, vain, powerful being who still has hopes for himself although he is, effectively, dead.

I mean - what?

This is one of a few books on my list that can be very profound but are also laugh-out-loud funny at times; if you're a little sardonic or if you like the ironing irony. I think it's really something when prose, something you're reading silently to yourself, makes you laugh right out loud sometimes. If you think about it - that's pretty hard to do considering the writer has to take into account there is no mass reaction of, like, you sitting in an audience watching a comic and people give each other cues as to where the funny parts are.

The Dead Father is funny but also sad and also mind-bending and sometimes insightful but never ever dull. Especially the book-within-a-book "A Manual For Sons" which is an English translation of a book written in English.

I hope you find the books I'm going to list strange and wonderful and I really hope somebody takes the advice. I know, I know everybody talks about "books you should read" and we all nod and yeah yeah sure - we all know it rarely happens. But if you are trying to decide between The Dead Father or War And Peace....

Dude!

Labels: Books

Gino is one of two people I have known just from the internet since the late 90's. We've been through several message boards and kept in touch. He worked on our team political blog and has always been both brutally honest and never ever got personal about it. He would swear his ass off at you, but there'd be a beer in there soon after. He is also a regular commenter here. Is it 10 years I've known the guy but never met him?

Thursday afternoon on a freeway near San Diego his sister was killed in a crash, and he is got to be the one to take the lead in all the details and arrangements.

Gino has participated, through this blog, to help other people on the net who have lost loved ones that he didn't even know. That's the kind of a guy he is.

Please go over and send him some moral support if you have a second.

I are a belligerent person I am, not only about politics but also about books. Books and writers and the state of the art and all that other important stuff about important writing because it's important. Not only because it's important (cue important music), but because it is also vital too. Um. It's vital to the culture and the species and the coming generation that I SAVE THEM from a fate worse than death, which is also sometimes known as "things everybody knows you OUGHT to read".

Steph Waller had a meme up recently about 106 books that are largely left unread though they are considered classics or essentials or something. I immediately, because after all I do - in fact - know everything, made an off the cuff comment something along the lines of GOOD! THERE'S PRECIOUS LITTLE IN THAT GROUP WORTH READING ANYWAY!!!!1!11!, or something equally erudite, tolerant and intelligent. When everybody came out from behind their chairs I was gone. They ruminated a bit (because I don't allow MUSING on my blogroll) and returned to normal after they made sure I was gone.

Now I recognize that this is a highly subjective subject. Some people like mysteries and some people like cheap detective paperbacks. Some people like their prose in dense blocks and some like it sparse. For some people if there is no good characterizations and no one to relate to they can't go on. Others, like myself for one, have violent physical reactions when the writing is listless, uninspired, dry without purpose or it is obvious the writer has constructed a scene and a condition that have terrific possibilities but they resorted to cliche or somehow didn't quite get there. This last is my experience with Doyle's Sherlock Holmes stories. You can't ask for better atmosphere and cues that want you running off to get a blanket and cuddle up for a good read - at least until you hit the occasional completely implausible possibility and the more regularly occurring unquestionably adolescent rendering of dialog between cardboard cut outs.

That's the kind of thing - the not hitting the possibilities after all that promise - that fuels my book-throwing arm. Conversely, when I look around and start trying to find people who have read things that quite literally light me up, I invariably find precious few compatriots to connect with.

I'm not saying the books I'm going to talk about and the writers I'm going to introduce are the only thing a person should like - even if that happens to be true - because i know this is a subject much like music. People get into fights over music, and I'm not going to try and needle anybody. But there are some things I consider to be the "essentials" that never seem to make any list at all.

And, I have to tell you, looking at some of the books on this 106 list (once I wipe the angry froth from my mouth) I can see why it is some people stop reading altogether.

Over the next few days or so, this blog is going to be about books. If you need a hook just imagine the way you feel about getting behind a slow driver - ok? - got it? well that's the way i feel about certain things we're supposed to think of as "classic" or "essential" when it comes to books.

Stay tuned.

Our new topic icon for "Books":

Labels: Media

Besides about 30 seconds of Blues and a different picture of the city from a different angle than the stock clips we've been given all the while, there is - once again - nothing for me to tell you about in the way of a Chicago connection except for the judge who, according to Stephanie, is the best pastry chef in the city. I'll take her word for it. MrsRW is in Las Vegas right now so my pastry expert is not reachable for this review. Anyway, I'm hoping they show off my city better soon. And I have a prediction - who wants to bet me that Charlie Trotter (supposedly the ultimo chef of Chicago) comes in when we're down to the last test in Chicago? Any takers? It's getting obvious that's what is going to happen. Why shouldn't Mr. Anti-foie gras get that job - he's been selling tiny dollops of overpriced foliage for years and getting away with it. He'd fit right in with SPOLIER ALERT FFS some of the personalities in this crew.

So they send home the New Yorker and it needs to be said she really hadn't done much of anything up until now. Nikki made a lot of pasta and should have confronted Dale and got him to stop bwaaaaaaaaaaing long enough to make food. It irks me that Dale is still there. Seems to me the comment by Colicchio should have said it all - Dale did "most of the work" and "most of the work" wasn't very good.

I was sitting there wondering if they're too intimidated to yank his ass. But it's got to happen sooner or later. Was I the only one who started laughing when - like a perulant little prima donna - he stood there with his arms folded challenging people about this or that vegetable? Oh YEAH, what about the zucchini!


I do think, however, that tonight's winner(s) are going to both be in the finals. I'm noticing a pattern of relatively sane people being the ones keeping their heads and coming through in the crunch. They gave it to Richard who gave it to Stephanie who declared they'd split the prize money. I will note that, yes true, it is a whole lot easier to be magnanimous when you're on the winning team but - correct me if I'm wrong - this is the second time I've seen Richard go out of his way to spotlight someone else's contribution. Gee - a good guy who is a formidable chef as well. In the meantime Stephanie got her groove back big time - and did I tell you that's my bet and that she used to run a restaurant in what was my old neighborh..... Oh yeah I guess I did that.

Pretty sure we're going to see Richard and Stephanie in the finals. Who is the third?

Labels: Food

Yes Top Chef later but this came up in and of itself while watching the news.

Nobody's probably going to do it but if you want to know my whole political deal you could read this article and you'd have me pegged - nay - NAILED. That's right, I'm an old-fashioned, more conservative than you thought, to hell with PC, Newt Gingrich is a cool dude, kind of guy.

But I said it once before (too lazy to get the link) and I will say it again.

Here is an Old Right paleolibertarian who wants Senator Hilary Clinton to drop out so Senator Barack Obama can be the Democratic candidate, who will grit his teeth and close his eyes and have one hand behind his back with his fingers crossed who will vote for Obama if given the chance.

Like I said the first time, I'm sure my stalwart good, respected and old line friends (hi Gino) may lose their minds over this (ha, they already know it who am I kidding?), but that's just how it is this time.

Just this; black President - the face we show the rest of the world - of the United States of America, is a MASSIVE PIVOTAL MOMENT in history. History, guys.

Despite what many liberals may think, my old-line cronies never had patience for Jim Crow. The idea of a black veteran returning to his home and being denied a vote - such as it was as recently as the 60's - was and always is anathema to any real conservative I ever knew. The impetus has always been - "you're already equal in my universe", which sometimes seemed to translate into "no special laws for minorities" which was forever spun as "conservatives are against equal rights." Which is and always WAS bullshit and political posturing to make hay out of liberal obfuscation of what we really felt. OK you liberals are hereby forgiven. For now.

Right now though, for once, I think we're close to something beyond the policies (I checked myself and realized I only really agree with about 5% of Senator Obama's ideas). We're on to something of a nexus point on which one world moves toward another world.

It needs to be done. It is SCREAMING to be done. We'll handle the policies later. As an Old Right Conservative - for Christ's sake - it can't possibly get any worse than the mealy-mouthed neophyte who has been the most disastrous President we've had since Carter (which is saying a lot).

Need a reminder? Here's Reagan on "W" -

"A moment I've been dreading. George brought his ne'er-do-well son
around this morning and asked me to find the kid a job. Not the
political one who lives in Florida. The one who hangs around here all
the time looking shiftless. This so-called kid is already almost 40
and has never had a real job. Maybe I'll call Kinsley over at The New
Republic and see if they'll hire him as a contributing editor or
something. That looks like easy work."

This is beyond policy, my old friends. It needs to happen for a hundred reasons, not the least of which is how the paradigm shifts out of the hands of the people who have been breeding hatred against the USA because the perception had always been that we were a nation run by crabby white men, and back to our lead where it belongs.

As they say on the chans with the exuberance of internet yoot and the God-blessed freedom from under the tyranny of that which is PC... DO IT FAGGOT!

Labels: Politics

I'm confused about the concept of absolutes.

An absolute is something totally true without exception. It sometimes has the characteristics of being axiomatic, i.e, a self-evident truth, though that is not a requirement. An absolute is, however, irrefutable. Testing it under a range of queries will not result in finding an exception. It is. It certainly is. It is definitely true. There are no exclusions and it cannot be something anyone can equivocate from. An absolute is unassailable.

Some people say there are no such things as absolutes. They point out that there are exceptions, or exceptions can be found, to everything. There are attendant corollaries, observational effects that skewer the results of observation. If you test a thing long enough you will find a condition that does not match the concept of an absolute. Somewhere along the process any and all "ultimate truths" will be found relative. This even applies to morals, according to this point of view. There are competing realities and none of them are false. The extreme position of this says that "the only thing that is true is what is true for you."

"Relative" truth, however, presents some definite problems. Sooner or later a definite Reality will command you observe it. Case in point two hikers walking up a mountain path. They achieve such altitude that they find themselves above a cloud bank. One of the hikers looks out onto the clouds and says "look! A glacier! Doesn't that just look like the top of a snow field or a glacier?" And the other hiker says "Yes it does, but of course it is a cloud." That might have been it except the sight consumes the first observer's imagination. He stops and looks again and says "No, it really IS the top of a glacier," and he proceeds to step out onto it.

If "what's true is what's true for you" is the operating principle in the universe the hiker who sees a glacier will find himself standing on a glacier, but the other hiker sees him fall right through the cloud to his death. Obviously only one of these things can happen. The logical conclusion of relative truth or relative reality is that you can't complain about Hitler killing millions of people, because according to his truth that was actually a good thing. Even Judas was OK in this book.

Then there are people who say there certainly are absolutes. There are irrefutable conditions and some things are immoral ALL the time no matter what and certain properties never vary from their explanation. However - if water is heated long enough it will boil, but it has a different boiling point 10,000 feet up from where you are now.

Anyway this poses a question. If someone says "there are no absolutes", didn't they just admit there was at least one? Then again, if it is absolute that there are no absolutes, the statement is true because the statement is false.

Oh by the way - Happy Monday to ya!

Labels: Inside RW's Head

Everybody is going to some blogger party someplace for the weekend, so I can drop my pants guard and release my inner rebel without having to worry about appearances.

I know I know - nobody clicks the stuff and you're no different. But with everybody going to be talking about their trip, I needed a place where I could just go and click some music as I drift around the intertubes over the weekend.

Carry on...

Labels: Kiss My Ass