A Guide For People Not Going To BlogHer

For the other 99% of the blogodehexahydrophosphersphere that isn't going to Blogher, a handy dandy guide of how to survive the event.

1. It's okay to be jealous that other people besides you will be going to New York. Outside of Chicago (where I was born and raised and therefore what follows is completely understandable by all but the most obtuse among us) New York is my second favorite town in the whole world. If you have not been to New York you must go to New York, at least once in your life, because it is the iconic city of the entire world. This is where the modern city was invented. In the first place I think sometimes that the "New Yorkers are mean" thing is overblown. I never met a New Yorker who wasn't helpful. Sarcastic while being helpful, yes. Amused at your blatant stupidity, certainly. Ultimately wondering how they can disabuse you of your naivety - oh you bet. My experience says that 99% of the time they will do everything they can to help you out. But yes, it's perfectly okay to be jealous of people who are going to New York. That's what it's there for.

side note; Those going should taste all the street food you can find because the chances are high nothing you try will disappoint you whatsoever. I would recommend getting in at McArthur/LongIsland/Islip airport. New York's little secret and an exceptionally easy in-and-out airport out on the island. But be careful traveling on Long Island; they're not kidding about the LIE (it can be one from time to time), and since there are seventeen streets/roads/avenues named Jerusalem on Long Island, get onto Manhattan as soon as possible before you get completely lost.

2. Accept the fact that for the next few days it's all about them. What happens to people who find themselves in New York for the first time is they think this is a bigger deal that it really is. Don't get me wrong, New York is the ultimate cool. But it changes once you've been there a few times. It gets more comfortable and less mysterious but just as fantastic. The thing is, at first, a lot of people (especially the ones from The Sticks and - to a New Yorker - that's anybody not from New York) get the idea that because they are in New York they are suddenly hot shit. This will show up in their blog posts. Just smile and wait for something there to beat them down and get them back to reality because, heh heh heh, something will.

3. Find a suitable activity to assuage your feelings of inadequacy. Add another stake to your tomato plant that is spreading all over the place. Drink a lot. Stay up late. Don't go to church. You know, real dangerous stuff.

4. Read past all the "I want to live there" posts that will soon follow. There are folks who, after one visit, are certain this is the thing for them. A lot of those kind of people actually try it. Unless they have a direct tie to someone who already lives there or have some kind of existing connection there, most New Yorkers barely tolerate them, and they may last a year. Sometimes. Be ready with the blanket and bourbon routine when they come whimpering back home.

5. If they return home a Yankee fan. Kill them. Immediately.

6. Plot your revenge. Start planning on that Paris trip. It's about the only thing you can plausibly, arguably, top them with at some point in the future. Unless they've been there too. In which case you're screwed.

7. Immerse yourself in your local culture and celebrate who you are and where you are from while other bloggers are doing this fairly dumb thing in a pretty great place. Quite frankly, BlogHer is dumb even if New York is very, very cool. It was in Chicago last year and I stopped by the hotel to visit and have dinner with a few friends who were in town for the event but, to be honest, it's a sorority binge with a frat house contingent swirling around a couple of interesting events and a larger slew of completely pointless other ones. It is basically the ultimate expression of femnetworking at its top, including the really cool drunkenness (yes!) and really awful occasional petty squabble (uh... meh). To occupy your time instead of being there and participating, go to your friendly local produce / sustainable resource / nice wine list restaurant and stay one glass of dessert wine longer than usual. Find a bookstore and add an old classic from the 19th century to your library, reading optional. Write nice, congratulatory comments on the posts of those who are swimming in it and posting about every stroke. Curl up in your own bed and make whatever you want for breakfast. That should do it.

To those on their way - have a great trip. The original Papaya King is closed for renovation so tough luck there. But oh well. The rest of us will be leaving a light on for ya. It's the one in the middle...

Dimocasy In Amercrina

President Obama was on a program called "The View" and a chirpy little headline on the Comcast news area said "Obama Not Invited To Chelsea's Wedding." What followed was some fluff about the visit and a few clips. Harmless, pointless, mostly meaningless. That is until the denizens came out to comment.

The internet has been here a long, long time, and can be manipulated in many ways by savvy users. One of the tricks that appeared early on was the "opposite posting" that purposefully makes the side you disagree with look bad. There are ways to tell what may or may not be real. I've presented that here, with my opinion - which is certainly fallible - along with some other quotes from the discussion board which added over 200 comments in a matter of minutes, mostly of questionable origin and bizarre taint. My observations are in blue. Some of the comments we can just let stand alone.
__________________________

OPAL
I will be watching President Obama tomorrow,i believe that he is a super person and someday will be thought of as a great President.It is so transparent,what the conservatives are trying to do to him,destroy his presidency. It will backfire in the end,i have a lot of faith in his decency and intelligence .If Lizzy acts like the nasty person she is, i hope that one of the other ladies trips her right on stage.

ANNIE
DEAR OPAL…WHAT KIND OF DRUGS ARE YOU ON????? A SUPER PERSON????? ARE YOU CRAZY??? HE HAS DESTROYED OUR COUNTRY…..BUSH WAS A SAINT COMPARED TO THIS SO CALLED GUY….THIS GUY IS THE WORST RATINGS GUY EVER….ANYONE I TALK TO HATES THE GUY…HE HAS HAD MORE DEATH THREATS THAN ANY OTHER PRESS..400% MORE…..THATS YOUR GUY !!!!! (ACCORDING TO THE NEWS)
THIS GUY HAS A RATING OF THE 1ST YR…OF 42% LIKE HIM….BUSH SR.. HAD A 78% LIKING…AND BUSH JR HAD A 68% RATING…SO THAT SORT OF TELLS IT ALL….TIRED OF HIS LIES…AND STUPID FACES HE MAKES……THE SO CALLED BAD STRETCH IS BECAUSE OF OBAMA..NOONE ELSE !!!!!!!!
A PATHETIC PRES….AND CAN’T WAIT TILL HE’S GONE…2012 OR BEFORE……..

This exchange happened very early. The thread had not taken off yet and it was attached to this article from the article announcing him being a guest the day before. There are some classic signs here. Inability to space sentences, writing in all caps, the appearance of the internet's most talked about celebrity (Peter NOONE), multiple punctuation marks, questionable subject/verb structure, and so on. I believe these two were real. It was not developed enough for the guys from 4chan to notice at this point.

LISKA
Why don’t the to jerk of..ahead of me go to Texas to live with the cheerleader mother fuc…,that’s where the oily, disgusting conservatives belong. Bush,bim ,rah, maybe he can get you all the hel. down there with a cheer.

I dunno. Could be. The word "disgusting" bothers me here. You?

Irene
It is so easy for Obama to go on the view. No one will ask him any really important questions. It will be a love sit in between everyone except Elizabeth. Why doesn’t he go on fox and answer some really hard questions. Better yet why doesn’t stay in Washington and do his job and get some very needed jobs in this country. He needs to stop blaming Bush this is now his problem. It is his spending and catering to the unions, and trying to make our nation in to a socialist government that has put our country in this mess.

I say real. For one thing it is an attempt to form a concise line of thought. She uses a capital letter in her name as well. Someone who is telling you their name.

who sane
Obambi on the View? Of course a wimp like Bee Ohh fits right in with the hen fest…
Aside from being able to read a teleprompeter he is an inept CLOD. A blundering buffoon..
Look ..
UP in the sky
Its a bird
its a plane..
NO it’s Teleprompter Boy..
able to spend OTHER peoples money in a single bill
able to read a single sentence of a teleprompter in a single breath..
Notice HOW teleprompter boy doesn’t do REAL interviews? Only a liberal henfest like this..
Without his teleprompter he is an illirate moron..
I am SO embarrassed this idiot is our POTUS
More so I am ashamed of democrats liberals and all of you welfare loving Obambi acolytes..
Hope.. blah blah blah change blah blah blah 140 days as a senator blah blah blah racist friends .. I am BEEE-OOH teleprompter boy.

At least it is a little creative. But the humor missed the mark. Nothing like calling someone illiterate and spelling it "illirate" for just the right touch of internet justice.

rebecca
Obama and his minions are driving this country into the ground. He is draining us of money, forcing his bad policies through, making sure Washington, D.C. has all of the new jobs, threatening people if they do not agree with him, and dragging his feet during this oil spill catastrophe. How many times did he play golf during the oil spill? Maybe the spill is exactly what he desired since he is such an outspoken environmentalist. Maybe this disaster played right into his hands. Now there is a nightmare thought. Actually this is a nightmare administration.

This could have been a legitimate starting point, but it was ruined by the claim the President is "making sure Washington D.C. has all of the new jobs" and asking how many times he played golf "during the oil spill". What?

BJ
Oscar your brainwashed. Go watch fox and be led around by your nose a little longer.

oscar
Hey BJ….when you wrote “your” the first time…did you mean “you’re”….then you went and used “your” again, 10 words later. Count the letters on your keyboard…there should be 26….unless you’ve got the FisherPrice version……how old are you anyway?
YOU are the embarrassment in the country you spoke of above…..you get all your news from Rachel, and Keith….if, that is, your Mommy lets you stay up late.

suzie
as another person said, LUCKILY i don’t watch the view and i can’t believe that the president of the united states, took the time to go on the view? what a disgrace to our country, to think he found the time, when our country is falling apart. doesn’t say much for us AMERICANS. he should have shown his support for our boys scouts, instead of promoting himself with one sided statements, on a show, where no one has the brains to ask him anything important.

If you read capitalized words as meaning to be stressed in the tone of conversation this one is kinda confusing. I wound up trying to *get* the motivation for the caps.

BJ
Oscar if I cared that much about my grammar on here i would just check the spell check, does it make you feel impressive to grade my comments. hey i forgot to capitalize some letters on this comment, I guess that makes me wrong about everything right lol….

JDE
The comments from the New Republican KKK, Skn Heads, Tea Party clan is exactly why I’m becomming an Independent! They sound exactly like the old news clips of Hitler and his Nazi party just before WII! Jezz what’s happened to our Republican Party?

Fake as a three dollar bill. Meant to be a back-handed cut at the claims made by the wingnuts on the Left regarding the wingnuts on the Right. I'd be surprised if any one with more than a year's worth of experience on the intertubes bought it. Unless they were one of the wingnuts I guess.

scott
WEATHER OR NOT YOU HEMRHOIDS WANT TO HEAR THIS OR NOT.MR OBAMA WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY TO BE BEST PRESIDENT EVER.

libs suck
ALL U OBAMA LOVERS ARE BRAINWASHED SOCIALISTS.YOU ARE THE ENEMY.

Stephanie
I am proud to say I did not vote for him. He’s such a putz….

I kind of like the putz line. It seems so... I don't know... so tame and cute.

william
Why deesn’t he just stick to what he does best and that is playing up to the muslems and downing Americans.

PatKat
I use to repect our Pres but him going on the View shows me what an all-time LOW this country is on! What a dim wit! The View of all places for a President to walk on! I’d have had some residual of repect toward Obama if he’d gone on Letterman instead—ugh!!!

DERALICT
WHAT AN IDIOT!! DOES HE REALLY THINK BY CONTINUING TO GET THE SPOTLIGHT ON HIM AT ALL TIMES THAT THIS IS GOING TO HELP HIM? I FOR ONE DID NOT VOTE FOR HIM NOR WILL I EVER VOTE FOR HIM!!HE IS NOTHING BUT AN ATENTION SEEKER WHO DOES NOT KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT REACHING OUT TO PUBLIC!!! GOD HELP US IF HE WINS A SECOND TERM!! CANADA IS STARTING TO SOUND REAL GOOD!!!

john d
No wonder more and more Repulicans are becomming Independents. My old party has become mean and hateful to every idea thats not far right! Guess it just the way they were raised! What shocking is they profess to be Christian Yet they don’t sound Christian or act like Christ!

All kind of verbal mayhem followed by yet another feeble attempt (probably the same guy who did it before) at showing how the "tactics" from the Right are supposed to be alienating people. The catch is that usually when people consider leaving their affiliations it generally is so much more thoughtful than hate/Nazi/Christian yadda yadda yadda.


RacerJim
Obama is a great dispicable presence. That is no matter how hard his supporters try to deny he has divided this country more than any other POTUS in history.
Obama has indeed shown a great knowledge of many things, especially as to how to become POTUS/CiC despite being ineligible and having no pertinent experience.
Screw you, Barack HUSSEIN Obama aka Barry Soetoro. “We the people…” of America are gonna get you.

RacerJim is like who sane's dad? POTUS and Hussein. I could be wrong I guess. Maybe who sane's meds kicked in.

IBB
All I can say is that the Lord sent the President to us and the hater better watch out.

Tim
Osoma+ Oboma on The View? I guess the saying is true…. MISERY LOVES COMPANY! ……, GO REPUBLICANS!!

Internet tough guy and a really odd cheerleading chant.

Dorothy
Our so called President has no substance or insight on no one but himself. He should be doing government business, here he is on The View. I dis-credit his character. I understand the old adage: “I will not vote for a mixed race person for president, because he is of a mixed race and not full American. He is Nigeria descendant and caucasian as his mother. To be full blood American we must be all American and nothing else. He is not an actor and definitely not a celebrity. He did not impressed me nor my family. Matter of fact I don’t support him in “NOTHING”. He has actually screwed up everything for the taxpayers and nothing he can say will impress me. I take God our Creator as my President He is everywhere at the same time. So his time is almost up and nothing has changed. I would rather have the previous President George W. Bush as president at least we knew where he stood and could voice our opinion . He listen whether he respond , but consideration was given. Whether you agree with me or not I really don’t care because he is just mere man God created. He is muslin is he not????????????????????

"so-called president" is a bit of a stretch. There are better ways to say phony I'm thinkin'. I'm saying real though. There is a sense of earnestness that can't be duplicated by someone of the opposite view.

Glenn
President Obama is doing the best he can given the fact the mess he inherited and also the people that have divided this country ie.. Fix News, the chickehawks, rightwingnuts, birthers, teabaggers, etc.
We are behind you Mr. President.

Michael
We should have another civil war. Republicans versus Democrats. The Blue and the Red. Bet ya you would wish you were a Republican then! Democrats rely on “government” to fix our poor country while Republicans hold people responsible for their own problems. How about some middle ground where I’m not paying to raise my neighbors child? Then he grows up and robs my house because that’s what people who receive constant handouts become. Fix your own problems if you want to “fix” the country.

And I would recommend we put Glenn and Michael right in front when the shooting starts.

jacob
Barack n Roll!
If you dont like our president then you can GTFO of this country you unpatriotic swine!
USA!!!

Jacob
@michael you should be tried and charged with treason for that one you unpatriotic Terrorist! why dont you go to the desert and find you buddy bin laden to kick it with!

Viola
Obama HAD to come on the View to get the attention of you idiots that only watch FOX! If the Republicans are so great, what are their answers to all of our problems? More tax cuts for the rich? Oh that’s right none of the Republicans have lost their jobs, have sickness in their families or have lost their homes. Only us Democrats are stupid or lazy enough to need help.

jacob and Jacob... 4chan arrives. Viola is too excited. That one is real.

Martin
How bout all u people that r critizing obama go to hell.He’s doing wat he can all the jobs and the tough strech has been made by the people. So stop acting like little girls pointing a finger at someone else and suk it up. And bush, bush is 1 of the worst presidents. He did not only cause the war, but since there was a war he basiclly did the 9/11 tragedy. IT was bush’s fault. And didnt u hear wat he said. “When i took office, we were lossing 750,000 jobs per month.So all the lazy dumbasses saying that its his fault. Its not its bushs fault.

libs suck
TO CATSY you moron do you not know the constitution a PRESIDENT cannot spend one DIME WITHOUT CONGRESSES APPROVAL.The repubs ran congress until 2006 and we had a deficit of 210 bill.Then the libs or the dems took over.In 2007 the deficit doubled and in 2007 an election year it went to a trillion. Now who do you think voted for this if you said congress hey guess what you’d be right.Oh and by the way the your hero voted aye and he was all for the porkulus package.And for you people who say it was bush.s policies all the libs had to do was say screw you george but they didnt did they.

Kris
Watch the obama deception everyone. All presidents are just puppets and Barry is a good one. But while everyone is being hypnotized/brainwashed by him they are turning us into a fascist nation. Also watch ENDGAME.

FINALLY - the Third Option! Freemasons probably.

scott
I LOVE THESE SO CALLED PATRIATIC AMERICANS WHO DON’T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO PASS A 5TH GRADE HISTORY TEST, yOU MAY WISH TO LAY THE BLAME FOR THE COUNTRYS PROBLEM AT THE FEET OF THIS PRESIDENT BUT ANYBODY WHO HAS A BRAIN IN THIER HEAD KNOWS THAT THIS IS THE RESULT OF THESE IDIOT POLITICIANS GIVING TAX BREAKS THAT BENEFITS BIG CORPORATIONS FAR MORE THAN THE AVERAGE GUY AND THEN SIT BACK AS THESE GREEDY SLUBS TAKE THE TAX BREAKS AND THE JOBS OFF SHORE TO SAVE EVEN MORE MONEY AND PRETEND THAT ALL OF A SUDDEN THIS PRESIDENT IS SPENDING CRAZY YET HAD HE DONE NOTHING WE WOULD ALL PROBABLY BE STANDING IN BREAD LINES. WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN IS THAT THESE IDIOTS WHO RUN AROUND TALKING ABOUT SOMEBODY TAKING THIER GUNS (EVEN THOUGH THEY NEVER CAN SHOW YOU ONE WORD WHERE OR WHO SAID IT) AND THE MORONS WHO TALK ABOUT THIER TAXS BEING RAISED (TOO STUPID TO REALIZE MOST OF THEM HAVE GOTTEN A TAX BREAK)ALONG WITH THE BOOBS WHO RUN AROUND WITH THOSE RIDICULOUS SIGNS “DON’T TREAD ON ME”( WE NEED SIGNS LIKE THAT WITH THE SNAKE GETTING PEED ON) ALL OF THEM NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS NOT JUST YOUR COUNTRY AND PEOPLE COULD CARE LESS ABOUT YOUR LOUD MOUTH COMMENTARY. IT IS BRAINLESS PODS LIKE THEM WHO HAD NO PROBLEM WITH THE REPUBLICANS THE LAST EIGHT YEARS AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY HAVE A POINT OF VIEW. WELL THE MAJOR POINT OF VIEW NOW SAYS SIT DOWN SHUT UP AND SHOVE IT WHILE THE REST OF US TRY TO FIND THE WAY OUT OF THIS CRAP THAT YOUR COMPLICITY HELPED GET US INTO.

Ow. My cochlea.


GADAWG
I’ve just spent thirty minutes of my time reading these comments, the majority of them written by people who 1)can’t spell worth a damn, 2)are ignorant as Hell, and 3)are probably not working, especially if they watched “The View”. I am ashamed of myself for spending part of my lunch hour (you see, I’m at work) reading this garbage. Never again…

It wasn't me I swear.

Alright Already

Serious for a minute, I shall now eradicate any good will still pointed in my direction by a few friends who have strong opinions about this issue toward one side or the other, other than the one about to be expressed.

For over 60 years now there has been a problem in the Middle East. In 40 years it will be 100 years, and if the past is any indicator not much will change from now to there. But the world has been on the brink of World War III - what, twice? Three times? - over the ongoing argument in the region. It is the centerpiece of any random manifesto espoused by any random terrorist group (I won't insult Islam by calling any of them Muslims). One side says the world created a phony state to appease its guilt over attempted genocide and in so doing displaced the lives and livelihoods of hundreds upon hundreds of thousands of innocents. The other side says there is precedent going back thousands upon thousands of years as to why they should be there.

The Palestinians under Arafat were once classically described by a pundit whose name I wish I could recall as a group that never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity. The Israelis hide behind a wall that conveniently says if you criticize Israel you are a bigoted anti-Semitic. When an Egyptian leader worked on peace his own people killed him. When an Israeli leader worked on peace his own people killed him. Every US President and a slew of leaders from all over the world have crashed and burned trying to find peace in the Middle East. In fact the only US President that accomplished anything there happened to have been one of the greater disasters in Presidential history for other reasons. And the wingnut factions from both sides see nothing wrong with blowing up birthday parties or bulldozing somebody's house without so much more than a warning six seconds before they start the engines, unless they're just using a rocket to respond to the other guy's.

The thing of it is... I don't know, actually, why we give a shit any more.

All conflict has its own dynamics. It ends or continues for a variety of reasons. One of the reasons it continues is because those in conflict find some advantage in its continuing. When conflict no longer has a benefit one side or the other, or both, work seriously to resolve it. No matter what has been tried, it seems, the conflict in the Middle East never seems to solve. A cynical man can wonder, if the previous premise is true, if this thing just won't go away because those involved don't really want it to.

Power bases in the Middle East - specifically those belonging to Israelis and Palestinians - seem to very much depend on the attitude of the leadership toward the other side. Get too friendly and you may be killed. Maintain a constant, affordable level of intransigence and you may be in power for years and years. And if that is true the coin of the realm in this region isn't oil or water, it's intransigence. Because that is what gets you power. It fuels more stuff than oil in those parts.

If a President seems too friendly to the Palestinians there is a groundswell of chatter about how he isn't willing to stand by our best friend in the region, the only democracy in the Middle East and he flaunts losing money and votes in the next election. So in the campaign he's got to categorically state that we will maintain our ties to our best friend in the region. It doesn't matter that this is fallacious. Israel has engaged in espionage against the US in the past, Turkey has been a democracy just about as long and has steadfastly supported the US in its actions against other countries who are culturally closer to Turkey than to Israel, but what the hell who is counting. We go on with our act never noticing that whenever we say only democracy or best friend in the region we're slapping Turkey right in the chops. Yet they remain. But, in the campaign, his local opponents will picture him sidling up to terrorists and giving a terrorist fist-bump to his wife, for God's sake.

If a President connects strongly to Israel he incurs the wrath of wild-eyed morons with a hard-on for the 8th century who think that killing people, whose only real crime was that they went to work one day, by the thousands is a holy thing that will please God. He is also accused of ignoring an enforced diaspora of innocent people and he's dashed most hopes of seeming to be an honest broker the next time he gets a halo up his ass and wants to bring peace to the Middle east.

And if he tries to navigate a middle ground, because of the severe polarized version of politics we live under now in this country, everybody hates him. Right, Left, John and Jane. No matter who tries what it isn't good enough. There is always a sticking point that brings everything to a full stop. Every few years they go back to killing each other's children and then we have a reconciliation and then it breaks down on intransigence and there's tanks and rockets and extremists on both sides and then it stops and we talk some more. until somebody mentions Jerusalem and here we go again.

I think the time has come, and has long passed, for someone - anyone - to stand up and say you people are screwy. Enough. Alright already.

At some point - since we can't criticize Israel without someone saying we're anti-Semitic and we can't criticize the Palestinians without someone wanting to blow us up - the right course of action is (finally) going to be I don't care anymore. You guys figure it out for yourselves. I'm busy with other, more important shit than your shit.

It won't happen, of course, because there's too much political capital to be gained and lost by preserving the conflict. It helps energize your base one way or the other and there's enough money an influence tied to which side you are on to get anybody to say it. But it ought to be said. It ought to be said because it's already beyond stupid.

But in 2048, mark my word, there will still be political leaders in our country who will put forward the idea that if we elect them they will help bring peace to the Middle East. And that will happen because any time a man or woman of morals and courage who is either Israeli or Palestinian stands up to fix it - meaning a reasonable compromise - he or she will be killed, viciously, by the very forces of intransigence that are benefiting from the conflict. Unreasoning pride and obtuse willfulness pass for policy there. And they have condemned their own future generations to the dance.

It's long since time to quit listening to the music.

50 Things I Don't Care About Anymore, If I Ever Did

1. What makes you really really really happy
2. What kind of beer you drink
3. Israelis and Palestinians
4. The number of gang-bangers killed in Chicago over the last two months
5. Glenn Beck
6. What you think about "The Health Care Bill"
7. Chelsea Clinton
8. Afghanistan
9. Who is supposed to be doing who in the blogosphere
10. What you think about President Obama
11. President Obama
12. What a person who idolizes the 8th century thinks about the country I live in
13. Your IQ
14. Who will be the youngest person to ever sail around the world single-handed
15. The World Cup
16. Iraq
17. The Wikileaks Afghanistan documents
18. Who did what to your people or my people two hundred years ago
19. People who still hate France
20. Which party dominates the Senate after the fall elections
21. Where the hell Waziristan is or why I should want to know in the first place
22. How small/big/new/old/condition your house is
23. Kate Gosselin
24. Kate Gosselin's Husband Whatshisname
25. Their kids
26. Any random housewife from New Jersey
27. Gorden Ramsay
28. Future Vampire movies
29. Angelina Jolie
30. Oliver Stone
31. The NRA
32. Dick Cheney
33. Which side you are on
34. What crap you invented so you could put me on "that" list
35. Just exactly how much of a bitch/bastard you can be
36. What you don't like about stuff I do like
37. The Pope guy
38. Whether or not there ever is peace in the Middle East
39. People who still think Scientology is an actual religion
40. Xenu's 1950's-style prison planes and/or the volcanoes that didn't exist yet when you and I were supposedly tossed into them (see #39)
41. Young entrepreneurs. Especially young female entrepreneurs who are convinced they are hot but really look like a goggle-eyed snapping turtle (see #29)
42. How many people respond to my posts or visit this blog
43. Republicans
44. Al Franken
45. Young Pakistanis who are convinced the CIA attacked the towers so the US could have an excuse to kill Muslims
46. Moronic, blithering, fat-ass illiterates exactly my age who still believe Barack Obama is either a Muslim or not born here
47. What I say to telemarketers
48. What you think of me
49. PETA
50. The Chicago Cubs

Oh yeah... uh... OK... bang...

The single most fascinating person in all history (outside of Jan Zizka, the blind guy who defeated the Pope's armies), to me, is a guy by the name of Nestor Makhno (no, no links, you go if you want). Makhno was a Ukrainian revolutionary who, during the Russian Revolution, fought against both the Bolsheviks (off and on) and the Royalists. He was a reader of a guy named Bakunin which made him, theoretically, a libertarian-anarchist. He wrote the book on infiltration tactics (wedding party doing a ceremonial march down the street, they get into their target location, rip off the wedding clothes & start shooting up the place), his army marched behind the traditional black flag of anarchism, he'd liberate towns from one side or the other and tell the people "okay, you figure out how you want to run yourselves" and go off, he didn't like the communists and had to escape when the Bolsheviks won, then ended up in Paris where he worked as a carpenter and stage-hand at the Paris Opera, at film-studios, and finally at a Renault factory. He died there in 1934. What's funny is the smear attempt by the Soviets even into the Cold War about his character. So to this day you have to take what people say about him with a grain of salt. he was supposed to be a drunk, an anti-semite (oh come on, one of his best friends was Emma Goldman for God's sake). Why no movie about this guy? Cripes that's a damn EPIC.

Hey you really get a pantheon of people nobody ever heard of around here huh? Nestor Makhno, Opal Whitely, Henry Darger, B. Traven. I should maybe call this the "most famous people you never heard of" blog. Or something.

Mrs RW is in Portland, Oregon - OH and am I jealous. I hear that's a great little town. She likes all the coffee shops she's seen so far because Mrs RW bleeds coffee if you stab her. In all my business travels I never got to Portland. Wah.

I've decided the tomatoes that are growing in the garden like WEEDS are going to go into about two dozen jars of marinara and spaghetti sauces and I'm going to can them all & put them on the shelf. You are jealous. I know, I know.

I should break the 20,000 word threshold any day now. But I've already gone back to kill whatever adverbs and adjectives that are getting in the way of all the good terse goin' on. This is a city story, after all. With skinheads and a beautiful waitress and guns. Anyway I really got a kick out of Elmore Leonard's famous "Ten Tips For Writers." Especially the part about the hoopdedoodle. But because of his rules I had to A. Change the opening. B. "Find" every use of the world "suddenly" and delete it (nyah-nyah, there were only 3 in the first 15,000 words), and C. Get rid of the hoopededoodle. I know a lot of writers hedge about cutting adverbs and adjectives, but just try it. Go put "ly" in your "find" and cut it every time it's a modifier and see if it doesn't read better. IT DOES.

I've long ago gotten over being so protective and egotistical about my work that I refuse to learn something or try something new. If you're an established author you can have a lame try now and then and still get another chance. When nobody knows you that first time at-bat has to be a hit. At least a double. Otherwise it's no-go. I have the swing. let's wait for that one pitch.

Next month the Yankees are in town and I'll be at one of those games. Last year I went to 2 of the 3 when they were in town and the White Sox won both by something like 35 to 6 or something. Replay!

OK So As We Skid Into The Weekend...

If you did something stupid, apologize for it. If you did nothing, say so. Try to talk him down. But if he won't let it go and worse comes to worse - remember - feet spread to the width of your shoulders, knees slightly bent. Keep alert. It's not going to hurt. Grab his head and put him on the ground.

Fighting is ultimately pretty stupid. Even more comical if one or both of the people involved is drunk. You'd think everybody'd know that by now, but no - every generation has to figure it our for themselves. And you can pretty much believe, on this hot summer weekend, that there'll be all kinds of bozos getting into it in the next 48 hours. Rummies. People have to realize that fighting is a waste of a good buzz. But what are you going to do? That's life.

Actually I've decided I really need people to be stupid. That thing I've been writing (15,000 presentable words and still going) requires there be interest, comic relief, disgust, and fear of violent public displays. The main character has a pistol in the top drawer of his nightstand. in the bottom drawer are tens of thousands of dollars he has in bundles that he's saved up over the years from his job. But I can't decide if it's a Ruger GP100 (above) or an 8-shot Blackhawk (bottom). The GP100 makes more sense and is less, I don't know, extravagant in a realistic setting, but "8-shot Blackhawk" sounds so cool in a literary sense. It fills out sentences real nice. Of course after a while it's just "a Blackhawk." But when you introduce it (because, after all it is a character in this) and say "my 8-shot Blackhawk" it just reads nice. I don't know. It would be more realistic if he had the Ruger GP100. I'll figure it out.

Also I know this is working because, as usual, I can't come up with a title to save my life. All my titles suck the big one.

In the meantime, tonight it's grilled chicken, baked potatoes, and asparagus with a sprinkle of balsamic vinegar all on the grill. My wife bought a strawberry-rhubarb pie (my favorite) for desert and we have two friends coming over who rescue greyhounds.

And wine. So no writing tonight. I have to tell you - after a long LONG period of creative stagnation - it's a torrent lately. I almost hate to have company, but hell it's the weekend and I don't feel like fighting nobody...

RW As A Boy

I was a Marvel kid. Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko. And it was a long time ago. And Marvel will forever be associated with the taste of these cookies, but not the Keebler ones - the ones whoever made them in the 60's. Maybe it was pre-Keebler keebler. Who knows anymore. There also isn't any Lambrecht's cheesecake anymore either. That was a local Chicago bakery at the time and hasn't existed for decades. Riverview closed down 43 years ago. And come to think of it when I was born Adolf Hitler had only been dead eight years. that's like, one more year from here to 9/11. Which is why Hitler still made appearances in our comic books. But they have brought this back and I just ordered some. Nyah - nyah.

Anyway you gurls can turn away now because we're going to talk about comic books.

As I said - a Marvel kid. Everything from Sgt Fury (Nick Fury in later life) to the original appearance of Iron Man in "Tales of Suspense." That Iron Man cover is something you may want to click just to get a hold of his original outfit. Kinda clunky but hey - it was the 60's and we didn't have flexible iron yet. I think Stan Lee invented it.

One of the classic covers and stories from the Fantastic Four was the Hate Monger, still a sought-after issue. Don't dare tell of the Hate Monger's true identity (it was Hitler) revealed at the end of the story. My personal Fantastic Four story has to do with the 1964 New York World's Fair which we went to that summer. I remember buying a copy of a Fantastic Four in this huge hotel lobby and thinking "wow, I'm in new York - that's where the Fantastic Four live in the story." I was 11 - deal with it. And a lot of people didn't know that Spider Man first appeared in Amazing Stories. Yes - I had that issue. Yes I was forced to toss it by a clean-campaigning Mom. Along with my COMPLETE SET of Mars Attacks cards. That's right, I said "complete." And I made it complete the old-fashioned way. By buying from the candy store on the street we lived in in Chicago and then trading up. Sigh....

Silver Surfer came when I was in my teens and his philosophical bent and conundrums coincided with my first venture into mind-altering stuff. It was also the last comic I read in the Marvel universe. We were beyond comics after that I'm afraid. I don't know if Hitler showed up in any of those. i don't remember. On the right is what the original X-Men looked like. Clickable for history buffs. I had that issue too. Jeez...

And Daredevil has made a little noise again recently. He kinda looked like a kook with devil ears in a yellow suit at first. That outfit only lasted a few issues. But along with Iron man, I thought it might be fun to see the pre-icon style.

Comics are now illustrated novels and there is no doubt that the artwork and technical presentation of the modern version (especially the eye-popping stuff I see in the book-stores) is far beyond anything here. But then we had six newspapers in Chicago at that time as well. And the Sunday comics were what you bought the paper for. And they still didn't have lights in Wrigley Field. And I could stay out until the streetlights came on. And I didn't have to set "play dates" with friends, all I had to do was stand in front of their house and yell "Yo Joooo-eeeeeee" because it was considered rude for a kid to knock on a door when it wasn't Halloween.

Jesus that was another world wasn't it?

Anyway, thought you guys would get a kick at seeing the old school stuff.

Mucho Kudos to Coverbrowser for the bulk of these covers

Budda-Budda Pow Peeeeeeeeooooooo Thud

Budda budda is old school comics for automatic weapon fire. The thud is when a bullet hits something important. But I don't think they ever used it in the Golden or the Silver ages of comics, to be honest with you.

Do you ever sit there and think maybe you're too old to get started on a writing career? Like maybe somebody said they liked that piece you did that you never published and now you're getting up there and you have no discipline and time keeps on tickin tickin tickin? Well... the single greatest Academy Award acceptance speech was given by Alfred Hitchcock after getting a lifetime achievement award. They rolled out clips of all his films and gave testimonials and his stars gave anecdotes and then there was a big presentation about how he changed cinema or something along those lines, and when they handed him the award the crowd rose to their feet and cheered and held a standing ovation for an extended period of time and then everybody settled in to hear the Great Man speak. He leaned into the microphone, said "Thank. You." And walked off the stage. Brilliant. But did you know that he made "...“Dial M for Murder,” “Rear Window,” “To Catch a Thief,” “The Trouble with Harry,” “Vertigo,” “North by Northwest,” and “Psycho”—one of the greatest runs by a director in history—between his fifty-fourth and sixty-first birthdays."? Here's an old article published by the New Yorker a few years ago about the topic of age you might be interested in.

I'm taking Tuesday off and going to the zoo with my granddaughter. We've been taking her there since she was just past a baby and now she's headed to 2nd grade next fall and this is kind of a big deal. So no work tomorrow. Too bad so sad.

I've been thinking about bloggers I've known in the past. Especially the ones who aren't here anymore. The ones who lumped me in with other bloggers they didn't like and stopped coming by because of that. The ones who took something I said the wrong way and decided to get miffed about it and hate me forever. The ones who are just better than 9/10ths of the other human race because of their puffy education or their perfect skin or whatever the heck. The ones who never got over George Bush being a dope and try to make up for it with the usual conservative blah blah blah blah thud. The ones who you discover later are just jealous of any success you had in your life no matter how small and insignificant. Yes I actually thought about all those missing bloggers who got so hyped on themselves they just decided to walk off. Then I thought about supper. I'm hungry.

Hey this weekend my wife and I found an absinthe bar that had those little dripper dispensers that dribble ever so slowly into the glass so like they're supposed to. Then I went to have dinner. I ordered rabbit. And this was in the FAR suburbs yet! We're going back. I am a big fan of Lucid absinthe but I had my first glass of Pernod Saturday. When my fingertips got warm I knew I had a new favorite! But I did reinforce the time honored verity - absinthe goes with NO food folks. I munched on a little cup of escargot and after a sip of the Pernod my mouth felt decidedly like the bottom of a swamp. It is axiomatic - no food with absinthe. Take some before dinner and that's that. Eeesh...

Sometimes...

...you can tell who is actually wishing you success by the amount of support they're giving you while you struggle. And is the converse proof of the otherwise? Salient.

Sometimes... no matter how good you try to be with the food you eat and that you feed to your family, there's nothing like a huge cheeseburger that's totally bad for you. Nothing.

Sometimes... a person can take a little thing that was done or said and turn it into a great big drama and then chill so that it looks like they're above it but all the time they did everything they could to manipulate everybody to see things their way. And by now the "oh I don't think about that" bullshit is everywhere.

Sometimes... you have to not give in to the temptation to agree with every last thing someone is crying to you about if only to help them get a backbone or put their petty shit into perspective.

Sometimes... you have to be willing to admit that you're as full of shit as anybody else. And keep a check mark next to the names of those who won't admit it. Because those are the real dangerous people in the world.

Sometimes... you have to wonder why the world gets cranked about six innocent civilians getting killed in a US drone attack that takes out fourteen Taliban, but says nothing when an al Qaida homicide bomber kills sixty seven people just squeezing turnips in a freakin' city market while minding their own business. Look a little skewered to you? It do to me.

Sometimes... I think I'm the only sane person on earth. Unless I'm thinking I'm the true idiot of the world. Chicken and egg I guess.

Hard To Find Since The Internet

Question was brought up where to find the few of my things ever to have seen the dark of print and you have to remember that it all basically happened just as the last gasp of the alternative print scene was gagging on a cocaine spoon and the internet was about to wipe us all out. But if you think about it it was a logical progression. The kind of people hanging around the last great altzine explosion in the late 80's/early 90's would, some anyway, eventually move to anime, 4chan (no link and NSFW), Encyclopedia Dramatica (no link and NSFW) also zombies. Though I of course was a good boy and just stayed home mostly. Also my support was wrenched out from under me and the *established* fiction world was never in my universe. This however has changed as I approach croaking, and I have stopped 'experimenting" and just write now. Ya think.

There is not a remaining record of a lot of it, and what exists still is back issues, though some are actually listed as out of print.

The LA Times called Version90 "fiction, poetry, and reviews of a resolutely postmodern variety. All this and more is intensely illustrated with eye-catching photographs and unusual (but not obtrusive) graphics. Version 90 is intent on filling a gap that many of us didn't know existed." And I was lucky enough to be included in the first two issues. It was published in Massachusetts when it was going. The last known place you may be able to find any is this bookstore. Maybe. If they still have any.

Slipstream is a better known and - I believe - still functioning poetry magazine out of (upstate?) New York. Issue #11 is where I got to be one of the *others* included behind Bukowski. But I know that #11 is no longer in print. Says so right here.

A lot of stuff is in back issues of John M. Bennett's Lost and Found Times. he still sells lots of back issues & even complete sets. Just a warning, it was my surrealist phase so it's not what you're seeing now.

Mallife (a cover of which is pictured above) put me in #s 17 and 19. The blurb for that troop explained Mallife by saying "its pages (and magnetic tape) have showcased some the strangest and most original voices in the marginal and underground mail network, jammed together in a not-so-easy to read, mix and match casserole." It was also published by Mike Miskowski's BombShelterProps, which was responsible for my only ISBN# for a little novella titled The Move, but you will note it is out of print 'cuz it isn't listed here where you can still get other remnants.

And I'm not linking to the recently self-published novel at LuLu because it is vastly different now than what it looked like then, is better edited and... is edited in the first place. I don't like that version much anymore. In fact i kind of hate it. The new version is and will be better.

But that leads me to the other thing. I'm not sure I like ANY of my old stuff any more. I've gotten more into more traditional prose with fewer influences by the dadaists, farther removed from the punk scene, plus I'm old now etc. In other words the new stuff is actually now READABLE and more UNDERSTANDABLE. So I'm not touting these old relics and won't get a cent if you seek them out & don't care.

The key difference between good fiction writing and bad fiction writing is simple. Just tell a damn story. Something I should have told myself years ago probably.

I'm not sure I really like anything listed here.

ON EDIT: There were other altzines that took work. Asylum, Paper Radio, Sub Rosa, and a few others but good luck finding even a mention of them anywhere. Internet killed the radio star...

ON FURTHER EDIT - Sorry to keep popping up in your feeder but I forgot a link that will give you a wider background of that era/movement/whatever. Factsheet5 was the walking original where I think now the only source is Utne Reader (no link, no likee). So I guess the internet wasn't a completely bad thing.

Marblehead Shmarblehead

MrsRW, now the world traveler, spent the weekend in Marblehead because last week she had meetings at her corporate offices and this week they're making an online video of the course she teaches so she's also now going to be an internet teaching star. because of the two week thing she opted to stay in Marblehead over the weekend instead of schlepping back home and then schlepping back there on Sunday to get an early start on Monday. Outside of that was probably the smart thing to do I'm not so sure it was the smart thing to do. It's pretty boring around here.

For one thing I'm not answering text messages. Screw text messages. My fingers are too fat to answer, it's like the rules change every time I try to use it and I think it's a screwed up idea anyhow. So if you text me (hear me DAUGHTERS??) I'm ignoring you. Call me, talk to me, don't type at me.

I tend to degenerate when my wife is gone for long stretches of time. I mean I don't become a stalker and forget to take showers and stuff. But I do tend to forget to put the dishes away and run my clothes down before doing a load or two. I mean I do the cooking anyway which includes the clean-up so it's not that it's something I'm not used to; it's just I don't automatically clean up immediately following like I normally do. Yesterday I did a load of my jeans and then realized I forgot two pair because they were... gulp... on the floor. OK so it's picked up now but Jesus...

I've been productive, pushing the novel well past 10,000 presentable words and seeing very clearly not only where it is going but able to see 30,000 in the near future and what they will contain. It has more to do with the simplicity of the idea than the "free time" of MrsRW being out of town because I would have had the same amount of time if she was here (we give each other tons of space and don't freak out about one of us working in their office for long stretches of time). I keep thinking of The Old Man and the Sea because it's 20,000 words about a guy fishing with small vignettes in front and back to make bookends. But it's a fishing story, and that's it. I'm keeping it simple. It's merely a story about a guy who becomes infatuated with a waitress in a combination dry cleaners and hamburger joint. Don't laugh. It happened to me in Corpus Christi in the early 70s. There really was a place like that and the guy had two daughters. All I'm saying.

No but the meals are not an issue because, like I said, I cook anyway. On a positive note I can eat my damn sardines INSIDE the house when she's away. So there is that.

I just wish she would have come home on the weekend is all. One week at home after this week and then poof off to Portland. So OK I will console myself with my sardines. What? They're wild caught. give me a break.

Sooner or Later

I'm going to rub you the wrong way. I don't know who you are or how cool you are or whatever. Somewhere down the road I'm going to do something, say something, that's going to make you crunch the skin on your forehead and utter the f word in the middle of the what the and the was that.

I may have the best of intentions but sometimes I say or do or write stuff that either confuses people or just ticks them off. And my junk can be pretty unrelenting because, after all this time, I may not know a way to be different about it. I can be aloof, unsympathetic, and downright mean, but generally I've found that it doesn't take all that much to get people a little wanked, and some of my best work - apparently - has been of the unconscious variety.

For some reason ever since I can remember I seemed to have a gift for saying something other people tell me they would have never said. Maybe I honestly never see the problem with it but it has always seemed to touch somebody off. I'm told I have a stubborn mindset and can be unmovable and unshakable in my outlook, but I honestly don't see that. the fact is I get cranky when i feel other people are that way and feel I'm always the one bending and agreeing or shrugging.

I feel like I do go out of my way not to say or do the wrong thing to or at someone. But every once in a while I am honestly surprised - nay shocked - to find out that something that came out of my mouth in all innocent honesty was taken as a declaration of war by someone, or had people rolling on the floor clutching their sides while I'm sitting there wondering what the hell was so funny. Like the time we were talking about the reunion and someone said well she feels like she wasn't connected to the class that much and I said well she shouldn't feel like that, whoever the hell she was. I didn't think that was going to bring the house down but I guess it did. It was said in all honesty. What?

But that's not the main thing, that's just an example.

So I don't know. If it hasn't happened to you yet, wait for it. I'll get around to it I guess. I just wish sometimes people weren't so serious all the time. A few words here and there aren't life and death. No one is keeping score. or, if anyone is keeping score, they shouldn't.

In the meantime, look at what the bloody hell THESE crazies are up to, and have a nice weekend. If you want to.

The link.

The embed...

iPod Monday on a Thursday. Shaddup.

You rate each one as they randomly occur on my Shuffle, but you must listen until the hook or you can't play. Go....

A= I'd hit it
B= Good One
C= Better than just ok
D= Meh-be
E= Yawn
F= Please no more
G= What the hell is THIS crap??

1, Violin playing goth vegan fellow Chicagoan conservatory student leukemia survivor. What?
2. Don't get him excited.
3. Residue of my jazz phase circa late 80's/early 90's. You shoulda been there with us til 4 in the morning.
4. I like alone. So?
5. Summed it up at the time...

You Know That Feeling...

...where a lot of stuff is happening all around you and people are busy and happy and involved and you feel like a serene, smug little Buddha apart from all of it? That thing where you know you could sit on the front stoop or the back porch with your legs crossed watching everybody run around in the summer sun but you are neither compelled to move or look too deeply into what people are doing? That sort of lazy feeling that has you focused on your business but you know everything is handled that can be handled and you're confident the next step will open itself up with the push of a button? Like it's all right there on the tip of the jar just waiting to be poured and you can pour it or not at any given moment per your own call? It's sort of like you're watching two people have a very bitter dispute about their personal politics and they're trying very hard no to get all over-heated but it's really getting close some times and, even though you have an opinion, you've decided to open another beer instead?

You know, that thing where you know for a fact that because of the dumb things you've done and said in your life there are easily a bunch of people out there somewhere who, even if they don't know your name, really can't think of any words more vile than they've already used to describe you but you know that to be hurt by that kind of thing you first have to care about what their opinions are? You know, the oblivious thing? Where it's nice to have company and nice to have no company and nice to go over somewhere and nice to go no where all at the same time?

Where you can see it, the whole thing, right in front of you and all that's left is to just open your mouth and say it and it's solid? The part where water is enough and you've decided to give every last person a break? You don't have anything against anybody and you don't have that sudden anger welling up just at the thought of something that can piss you off, because nothing you can think of is pissing you off right now? You know, the light blue one next to the box of crackers.

Yeah. That one.

See you on the other side of this place, wherever this place I am at is.

Opal

Henry Darger, Francis Stuart, and JB Murray. Outcasts and outsiders all. Darger labored for decades on his private fantasy and created a staggering manuscript so large it will probably never be printed in its entirety. Stuart was a brilliantly disturbing writer whose belief in fascism found him socially ostracized and his work sometimes nearly impossible to find. The illiterate Murray created magical paintings with hidden written messages sent to him by God that could only be seen through a glass filled with well water from his home.

Whatever the side stories, the work is the thing, and the value of it all has been recognized by the great houses that pronounce what is art.

Let's add Opal Whiteley, controversy and all.

"a long time ago this road had a longing to go across the river, and some that had understanding made it a bridge to go across on."

The story goes... a little girl, mostly alone, living with her adoptive parents in the Oregon lumber camps just at the start of the 20th century, writes a diary on little scraps of paper with a crayon. Though there is only one digit in her age and she is barely schooled, she is a prodigy, and her diary approaches a kind of linear poetry. The diary of a little girl in the woods where sprites and animals are named and everything you can see is perfectly alive and able to sing to you.

Published in 1920 after first being torn to pieces and stored in boxes and then "discovered" by an editor of an influential New York magazine, it becomes a national sensation.

It also attracts charges of fraud. A little girl could not possibly have done this. Yet how to explain the state of the diary - nearly destroyed requiring it to be pieced together before it could be transcribed. Whiteley claims to be the daughter of a famous naturalist and beaten as a child by those parents in Oregon. She falls in and out of public consciousness. Is sent away from India after charges of sexual dalliances with a mystical cleric. She is hailed as a genius. She is charged with being the center of an exotic hoax. During World War II she is found living, destitute, in London where she rummages through the smoking shells of bombed out buildings for food, though she surrounds herself with books and madness. She ends her life in an asylum for the insane where she acts for all the world as a princess and dies in the 1990s. Scholars call the diary an elaborate and overly-sentimental game played on the world by the editor who "discovered" her. Others are convinced the work could only have been done by someone with an other-worldly view and that it is, indeed, the diary of a very special young girl. But it goes on for hundreds of pages, and some say betrays knowledge and understandings a little girl in a lumber camp could never have had in the early 1900's. Analysis of the paper and crayon show definitively that the material is correct to that era. But Opal saved everything.

What does her work look like?

Between the ranch-house and the house we live in is the singing creek where the willows grow. We have conversations. And there I do dabble my toes beside the willows. I feel the feels of gladness they do feel. And often it is I go from the willows to the meeting of the road . That is just in front of the ranch-house. There the road does have divides . It goes three ways.

One way the road does go to the house of Sadie McKibben . It doesn't stop when it gets to her house, but mostly I do. The road just goes on to the mill town a little way away. In its going it goes over a hill. Sometimes -- the times Sadie McKibben isn't at home -- I do go with Brave Horatius to the top of the hill. We look looks down upon the mill town. Then we do face about and come again home. Always we make stops at the house of Sadie McKibben. Her house -- it is close to the mill by the far woods . That mill makes a lot of noise. It can do two things at once. It makes the noises and also it does saw the logs into boards. About the mill do live some people, mostly menfolks. There does live the good man that wears gray neckties and is kind to mice.

From
The Diary of Opal Whiteley.

Prodigy or hoaxster. Magic or madness. Darger. Murray. Stuart.

And Whiteley.