I Want To Be In Steph's Book

I think Steph Waller is actually one of the longest running "blog friends" I've managed to maintain over the years (outside of Brian, the Agent, and of course gino - who I knew from seriously WAY before there were such things as blogs). They are a politically diverse group as well as bringing a varied range of interests with them and I love them all long time. But Steph is going through a writing process right now that is intriguing me.

Everybody works differently. I, for example, have no idea who my characters are going to be when I get started. Hell, I barely know what they're even going to DO in the context of the story when I start. Steph, on the other hand, is one of these writers who really likes to know the characters before she plugs them in. So we've been being highly entertained over the last week or so by a series of character summaries she is putting up on her blog. The fact that these people are so multi-dimensional is pretty damned impressive.

And I admit I'm kinda jealous of the process because it not only looks like fun, it is also probably a good thing for a writer to do. But, no I'd never do it myself. I'm too stubborn to change my process.

What I want, instead, is to be IN the book. I truly think there's a place for me in there somewhere, just as like maybe a cameo, under an assumed name, just in passing. Please?? Pretty please??

So here's my personal study which you may consider as my application. No joke. I'm scaring myself with it, and have probably never revealed as much before. Be kind.

Full Name: RW
Nickname: RW
Birth Date: October 23, 1953
Astrological Sign: Cusp of Libra/Scorpio but non-believer in astrology and other pseudo-sciences.
Birth Place: Chicago
Career: Construction
Musical Style: Sings tolerable, no instruments
Hair Color: Dark brown, currently salting
Hair Style: Tapered, part on whichever side it wants that day. The hair decides.
Facial Features: 15 miles of bad Russian road.
Skin Tone: Slightly more olive than most
Build or Body Type: Thin-ish when he works out. Currently building a sad gut.
Height: 5' 10" in the morning, 5' 9½" by noon. Honest to God.
Weight: 200 is what he'll admit to. More on a bad day. And most days suck.
Mother: Eleanor (deceased)
Father: Walter (deceased)
Mother's Occupation: Production garment worker
Father's Occupation: Welder, Plant Manager
Family Financial Situation: Secure, not rich.
Siblings: 1 sister
Best Friend: Wife
Other Friends: Limited to a small handful of good ones. Many and varied acquaintances.
Home Life During Childhood: Benign neglect, all wants provided, no open displays of affection.
Favorite Toy or Game: Soldiers
Education: Some college
Favorite Subjects: Literature, History, Theoretical Physics
Popular or Loner: A bit of both from time to time.
Health Problems: None evident currently. Probably dies of a heart attack.
Important Experiences or Events: Fatherhood changed everything, though part of the transition was a little rocky with what he believes to be unfortunate lingering effects relative to his wife.
Family Faith: Roman Catholic
Bad Habits: Drinks too much. Tendency to let health matters slide.
Good Habits: Does what he promises.
Best Characteristics: Good listener, sympathetic, stoic.
Worst Characteristics: Talks too slow, doesn’t express his emotions.
Proud of: His daughters.
Embarrassed by: Memories of a million stupid things he’s done all throughout his life that pop up all by themselves without any context to what is happening at the moment making him feel guilty and miserable about the past for no current reason at all.
Driving Style: Tries very hard to be patient. Doesn’t race.
Strong Points: Has a large vocabulary.
Temperament: Mostly quiet and goes along. Has a hard time forgiving people who think he’s an idiot or who insult his family.
Attitude: “A lot of things are none of my business.” Can’t understand why some people never “got” him.
Weakness: Lets people have their way, sometimes to his own detriment.
Fears: Hurting someone, scenarios of loved ones in physical danger.
Secrets: Occasional obsessiveness, moments of low self-esteem, and cyclical self-doubt has led him to do some really, truly, stupid things.
Regrets: Every time he ever hurt someone’s feelings when they didn’t have it coming. He can be a thoughtless prick sometimes, then he kills himself about it later.
Feels Vulnerable When: He does not have all the information.
Pet Peeves: The phrase “it is what it is.” Demanding, domineering people.
Personal Choices: Nothing controversial.
Conflicts: Mostly internal.
Motivation: To be of some value to people.
Goals and Hopes: To live a quiet life surrounded by a small number of valued family and trusted friends. Continue to produce modest, unspectacular, but accomplished writing. No limelight.
Speech Quirks: Has been told “no worries” drives people nuts.
Gestures: Shoulder shrug.
Day or Night Person: It changes.
Introvert or Extrovert: Introvert but not uncomfortable in a crowd.
Optimist or Pessimist: Truly depends on the subject. Seriously.
Music: More interest in the song than the genre. Listens to a wide range, but is picky about the particulars.
Books: Esoteric, avant-garde, out-of-the-mainstream, chance-taking, no rules stuff.
Magazines: Skeptic. Has a regular subscription.
Foods: Blisteringly hot spices, subtle delicacies, hot dogs, big fan of molecular gastronomy, junk food. Eats raw lemons whole.
Drinks: Vodka, absinthe, wine, beer, lemonade, smoothies, 12 year old single malt Scotch, madeira, apple-cranberry juice, Ethiopian sidamo. Outside of a few select flavors of Jones’ doesn’t much care for “soda pop.”
Sports: Above-average knowledge of American football. Horseracing.
Social Issues: Can’t stand bigots but doesn’t like the “race card.”
Colors: No favorites. They’re all good.
Clothing: Dislikes clothes people have to read. Favors three-piece suits when dressing up.
Jewelry: Small wedding ring. Treasured 1924 replica wristwatch.
TV Shows: The American Experience. Frontline. Top Chef.
Movies: Thinks “Treasure of the Sierra Madre” is best ever made. Unforgiven. Oh Brother Where Art Thou. The Illusionist.
Greatest Want: To have financial stability and security when he can’t work any more, without being a burden to his daughters.
Greatest Need: To have somebody tell him he’s doing it right.
Current Home: Same modest house he and his wife bought 27 years ago when the girls were small. It’s just the right size for the two of them now.
Location: Suburban Chicago
Details: Lots of new work done on it. Windows, doors, siding, floors. It’s a lifelong project that is coming together.
Household Furnishings: 100% Stickley-style Arts and Crafts in every room. Some of it authentic.
Most Cherished Possessions: Books. Family photos. Old board games.
Other Homes: None.
Marital Status: Married since 1978.
Children: 2 grown daughters.
Best Friend: Wife
Other Friends: A few.
Cars: Drives a MINI.
Love Life: Settled into a comfortable partnership.
Sexual Turn Ons: Subtlety.
Sexual Turn Offs: Overtness.
Guilty Pleasure: Football.
Talents: Miniatures. Writing. Getting better on the cooking.
Financial Situation: Way too much debt to be comfortable. Savings is probably under-avergae for his age.
Fear: Having to work until the day he dies.
Greatest Strength: Having an open mind.
Greatest Weakness: Being blind to other’s mal-intentions.
Health Problems: Occasional insomnia. Has too big a gut on an otherwise “ok” frame. Long history of genetic dental troubles.
Religion: "Convinced" Quaker since 1986.
Past Careers: Actor, printer, horseplayer, salesman
Past Lovers: No where near as many as some people seem to think. No where near. Not many at all, in fact. Like maybe not even five. Or less. He is constantly amazed by the sexual gymnastics people think he engaged in. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Biggest Mistake: If not doing batshit crazy nonsense that could have jeopardized his marriage, then it's probably walking away from an offer from Malkovich’s people at Steppenwolf years and years ago.
Biggest Achievements: Setting two daughters on their own paths with the ability to know the difference between right and wrong. Hopefully.

DIGGING DEEPER:
1. If RW could have two whole weeks for vacation, go anywhere and do anything he wanted, what and where would it be?
In a New York minute, he would find an out-of-the-way island in the Caribbean and earnestly work on his skin cancer and sclerosis, and wouldn’t care if he sat on the beach the whole time and saw no sights at all.

2. If he had a weakness for one of the seven deadly sins, which one would it be and why?
Easily sloth. He can settle into a big fat nothing faster than anybody he knows.

3. If he could bring one person back to life and spend a whole day with him or her, who would it be and why?
His father, who died when RW was 24, so he could show him he was all worried about nothing.

4. If he won a three-million pound lottery, what would he do with the money?
Quit work. Pay off his bills. Take a very nice yearly vacation (or two), indulge his love of esoteric restaurants, but otherwise live exactly as he is, where he is and how he is. No ostentation and the same fierce guard on his privacy. Think selective reclusivity a'la B. Traven or JD Salinger.

5. If he could change one thing about himself, what would it be?
Every part of his physical appearance that feeds his sometimes poor self-image.

6. What would he do to relax after a bad day?
Drink until he fell asleep. Why change what's working?

7. Where would he go if he wanted to feel comfortable?
His Office upstairs or the Family Room where he could smoke his pipe and slouch.

8. What does he do when he is angry?
Punches imaginary people when nobody can see him do it. Seethes. Tries to invent nefarious plots to get even.

9. How does he feel in a crowd?
Crowds are not a problem. He’s a city boy, after all.

10. If he were asked to describe himself, what would he say?
He’d say he was pretty boring to be around, when all was said and done, because he’d actually rather not go exploring.

11. Where does he want to be in his life ten years from now?
Retired in the place he lives right now, working on his miniatures, his writing, continue taking cooking classes, read everything he promised himself he’d read, go to the racetrack once a week, get together with friends and try out diverse restaurants, dote over his grand daughter. Also see "lottery" question above, only on a smaller scale.

12. A tear jerker is on. How would he react if alone? How would he react if with others?
A romantic tear-jerker would have zero impact. he wouldn't sit still for it. He does man-cry watching Schindler’s List but hides it as best he can.

13. Deep down, what does he really think of himself? Does he think he is fair, moral, honest, etc.?
Deep down he is far too aware of all the faults he thinks he’s hiding from everybody, and he has a list a mile long.

14. What does he think would make a perfect first date?
Easy conversation with no awkward moments, a mutual appreciation for wit and intelligence, and the opportunity for there to be a second date.

15. How important is money to him?
It’s very important, but it doesn’t override ethics or the trust of his family.