You'd Be Surprised...

...how much shit and junk is out there waiting to steal your money. Or maybe you wouldn't. But here's a public service announcement from a crabby old man because I still wuv you. All six of you.

I'll get back to the train stuff in a day or so, but for now let me rave a bit about real benefits and fake ones.

At the top of my list lately has been (and I'm not going to give them a free link) that specifically inane and insane commercial with the guy in the green tights who also bobble-heads in his car while hawking what is supposed to be a Free Credit Report. You've seen it. You've probably thrown a shoe at it. Of course you realize that not only is the commercial offensive and obnoxious and stupid - it is also borderline FRAUD. After the first month there's nothing FREE about it. You can get a free credit report after you give them your credit card information... which they need to bill you $19.95 a month thereafter for their "service", which basically is to send you a reminder after 12 months that you can once again view your credit report for "free". It's pure bullshit. The fact of the matter is that there is ONLY ONE legitimate website where you can view your credit report for actually free without a pre-payment or subscription to anything. You can only do it once a year but you don't need a service with a butt-ugly scam-artist pasty faced son of a bitch no-talent actor bobbling his head back and forth looking cute and funny and trustworthy. But don't take my word for it, check out the government's view, and how to do this without paying anybody anything. And then we can hope and pray that whoever that asshole bastard moron singing the scam song is, never finds a way back in front of a camera again and ends up working in some factory in Mexico. Or jail.

And did you ever get an email or a search result telling you how you can purchase a list of people the government owes money to? I haven't but I've heard the complaint. The fact is (as the link will tell you) "there is no governmentwide, centralized information service or database on how unclaimed government assets may be obtained. Each individual federal agency maintains its own records." But the larger point is that you don't have to engage a service to send you the information. Each state runs it's own website for unclaimed property and/or funds. Here's some general info from the government. On a related note, you also don't have to pay anybody to get a list of available government grants. I don't have the website right now, but you can get that info - free - from the government itself.

You should maybe think about making a permanent bookmark for these guys. I WUV these guys even more than I wuv you. Everything that's out there trying to steal your money - even stuff your sophisticated know-it-all brother-in-law never heard of - is listed here. And if it isn't it will be. This is a website worthy of your time!

Here's a link to find out how safe your bank is. In fact, while your at it, that whole website is a gold mine of information to help you make the most of your money.

And then, after you've made or saved or didn't waste a million because of me just now and send me 10%, you can go here and figure your dollars and cents income from your investments or calculate your margin for your business or any host of other financial figures you had no idea how to do before I just showed you. Just now.

I await your free-will offering for all this work. The preceding announcement is made in the name of the Bernard L. Madoff Benevolent Society.

Next post is about junkyards. Go figure.