1 step beyond

I allow Bourdain in my city because though he's never ONCE brought his own show to Chicago that I can remember he at least once gave the Chicago style hot dog its due. So he was here tonight as Head Judge and now he can go back to New York and don't come back here until you want to show us off. Bye.

I lost my "Chicago Notes" section weeks ago. I don't have anything to tell you about since, I don't know, for weeks. What this means is you're going to have to come here yourself. All there is to it.

And now here's the SPOILER ALERT, ffs

TopChef's signature challenge - Restaurant Wars. Make a restaurant that opens TOMORROW. Fan favorite, and has really exposed people's shortcomings in the past.

Was there any doubt?

I mean, as soon as they split up into teams it was like it was over. And I mean there was NO mystery in this one. Even the reactions of the judges DURING the taste off tipped the hand. And I have to tell you, except for the chocolate smear thing that did look a little goofy, I would have SO ordered what Stephanie, Antonia and Richard put out there. Every. Last. Item. And the manner in which they worked everything out was all pro - just remember it was Nikki who, coming back to lend a hand, pointed out the grit in the shellfish. Richard missed something very much like that once before and survived by the virtue of somebody else's miasma that time. They really need to give Nikki a big hug.

As for Team Disaster. Let's put it this way; Spike REMAINS the slimiest weasel I've ever seen on this show but - like Bourdain said - he picked a good night to be in the front of the house.

Dale and Lisa.... Dale. And Lisa. Like most of the "mouths" I've known in life the minute they hit a bump they're all BWAAAAA. But you could have just as easily flipped a coin and sent Lisa home as well. Can anybody tell me what she's made that was actually good? She won a round, and I think it was something she could make in her sleep or something, but ever since then I can't remember one good thing she's done.

So anyway Dale, because the one who plays "executive chef" in Restaurant Wars is always the one who goes home, got what was coming to him. But - I'll be honest - If next week either Richard, Stephanie or Antonia go home because of some process or other, and BOTH Spike and Lisa get in...? I call bullshit, and that's a fact.

In the meantime Stephanie wins!!! And because I've been backing her FROM THE START and called it from Episode Two ("this is the first female winner on Top Chef"), she's taking me to Spain. Just so you know.

Yes, it's true - I am that "for two" she's taking. First tapas, and then I convince her to go to my favorite little place in Iberia... elBulli. Because Stephanie...? She listens to me now. Yes. Yes that's right, I am chef whisperer.

Labels: Food